From JC

Late yesterday, Politico ran a story with the rather startling headline, “POTUS’ 48-minute walkabout.” Yesterday, the leader of the free world was missing for nearly an hour

Politico explained that during yesterday morning’s annual non-religious Easter and Transsexual Awareness Day egg rolling contest, White House aides suddenly and unexpectedly discovered that the Resident was no longer present on the lawn. Capitol police sergeant Awame Blassho explained, “some confusion had arose over who was suppose to be attending the president at that time.”

Politico reported that at first, aides believed Biden had urgently shambled back into the White House to take a critical comfort opportunity. As a result, aides lost precious time searching White House conveniences. Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Porvody told reporters, “President Biden can be unpredictable in his choice of destination when nature calls, so it took several minutes to check all the obvious spots. But we didn’t find him.”

Once informed about the Nation’s missing chief executive, the Secret Service — working with Capitol Police — located Mr. Biden several blocks away from the White House.

The Secret Service declined comment for the story. But a person working in the White House yesterday explained, “the President heard the Franklin Park ice cream truck tinkling, went for a cone, but got disoriented. He sure loves his ice cream.”

Rather than viewing the lost presidential 48 minutes as anything alarming, Politico ended its article affectionately describing Biden’s wandering off as though it were just an eccentric quirk:

Most people can relate to Mr. Biden’s passion for a cool treat on a warm day — it was 68 degrees and sunny — but his pugnacious individuality can at times cause problems for the staff. Although Biden got understandably turned around, what with all the one-way streets around the White House, and couldn’t find his own way back, Capitol Police safely and effectively recovered POTUS — and all was well. Franklin Park, named for another highly-independent American character, Benjamin Franklin, was perhaps the most perfect place on a perfect day for the president’s sugary walkabout.

Haha, just kidding. Well kind of. It’s amusing because it could happen. But Happy April Fool’s Day! On to the real roundup.