J C IS PISSED NOW

This is it! They’ve finally gone too far. Prepare to be outraged. The usually—reliable New York Post ran a revolting story this week headlined, “People Should Drink Less Coffee to Combat Climate Change, Study Says.”

No! Just no. I don’t care about the planet, flat, round, pear-shaped, or whatever its geometry. It can burn for all I care. Or flood or de-ice or whatever. They can pry my coffee out of my cold, dead hand. They’d better remember what happened to the British during the late, great unpleasantness, when we told them at musket’s end where they could put their precious tea.

According to the Post, some criminals posing as researchers excreted this explanation:

“Limiting your contribution to climate change requires an adapted diet, and coffee is no exception. Choosing a mode of coffee preparation that emits less GHGs (greenhouse gases) and moderating your consumption are part of the solution,” the researchers at the University of Quebec at Chicoutimi wrote.
Canada again! That figures. And, not surprisingly, it all goes back to the war on energy and fertilizer:

“This mechanization, irrigation and use of nitrous oxide-emitting fertilizers — the production of which requires large quantities of natural gas — greatly contribute to coffee’s carbon footprint,” the researchers said.
They want to legislate us back to the Stone Age. Although, I will admit that the Amish did pretty well during the pandemic and never took a single jab. It’s something to think about. Plus the Amish drink as much coffee as anybody.

The article continued its obnoxious report, adding insult to the already-abundant injury, when it crossed the final, fatal red line:

They found that instant coffee was the most environmentally sound.
Oh, no you don’t. You HAVE to be kidding me. Where are the Mounties when you need them? Round these people up! Apply the feathers and the tar, or vice-versa! Seal them in a sack with a bobcat! Lock them in the lowest cell and throw away the keys!

This aggression toward coffee will not stand. Prepare for war.