J C

An unlikely political beneficiary of the Trump Shooting has emerged: Joseph Robinette Broccoli. Sorry, Biden. Joe’s free fall into the bottomless vegetable garden is over; nobody’s talking about the Biden Brain. The Associated Press ran a story early this morning headlined, “In prime-time address, Biden asks Americans to reject political violence and ‘cool it down’.” More than anything, when last night the expressionless Oval Office Chief addressed the Nation, he demonstrated leadership, capacity, and endurance, speaking all by himself for a full six minutes. (Reading from a script, of course. Don’t be ridiculous

In his second post-shooting address yesterday, Biden, trying this time to lead from the front (which usually works better anyway), called for Americans to remember that politics is not, in fact, the most important thing in the world:

“I want to speak to you tonight about the need for us to lower the temperature in our politics. And to remember, [mumble] may disagree, we are not enemies, we’re neighbors, we’re friends, coworkers, citizens, and most importantly, we’re fellow Americans. We must stand together. Yesterday’s shooting at Donald Trump‘s rally in Pennsylvania calls on all of us to take a step back, take stock of where we are, how we go forward from here.
Let’s remember, here in America, our unity is the most elusive of all goals right now, nothing is more important for us now than standing together.”
Haha, that was the polished published transcript. Biden struggled to coherently read his unity speech , his beady eyes rhythmically tacking back and forth as he dutifully read from his teleprompter. The Nation’s top executive struggled with his enunciation, offering up chesnuts like “former Trump,” the “pass forward,” and the “ballad box.” After about the four-minute mark, his brain crashed at least once: “I’m asking every American to recommit, to make America so, make America, whhhh … think about it. What makes America so special?”

Well, at least Biden’s generous comments showed they do know how to call for peaceful politics when they want to. But more importantly, the AP specifically noted how the assassination attempt on President Trump benefited Biden by blocking calls for him to drop out:

It was a recurring theme in the many stories about Biden’s otherwise unremarkable address (which nearly all omitted the actual video). For example, Rolling Stone explicitly observed the same salubrious effect in its own article about the Biden Address.

I suppose it would be unseemly, a bad look, to carry out a political assassination of the old guy right after someone actually tried to assassinate President Trump. According to Politico, last week Biden angrily told donors on a mental reassurance call that “we’re done talking about the debate. It’s time to put Trump in a bullseye.”

Apparently, putting Trump in a bullseye worked. They switched out the Biden Brain narrative in a single day. Score one for the Kumquat.

umquat.