Finally, in the bottom story of the day, Vice News ran an article yesterday headlined, “Scientists Studying Temperature at Which Humans Spontaneously Die With Increasing Urgency.” You really can’t make this stuff up.

There’s a new threat out there: “wet bulb conditions.” According to Vice, things are heating up. According to scientists, “wet-bulb” conditions are when heat and humidity can cause otherwise healthy humans to overheat and just keel over, suddenly and unexpectedly. Vice warned, “They’re happening more often than ever.“

Gosh! This is alarming! It must be climate change, right? So I dug into the story to find out how hot and deadly it’s getting out there.

Vice says the science experts are now saying deadly “wet bulb” conditions occur at … get ready … EIGHTY-EIGHT DEGREES. I’m not kidding:

Wet bulb conditions occur when relative humidity is above 95 percent and temperatures are at least 88 degrees F, according to the study.

Ha. I’ve got news for Vice: that describes every single day in Florida between June and October. In fact, 88 degrees at 95% is a pretty good day during the summer. I’d play tennis in 88-degree weather, no problem. Any day under 90 degrees is a “cool” day here.

But it got even dumber. Vice said the scientists’ study showed that “the human body … is essentially unable to withstand wet bulb conditions at all once temperatures hit 95 degrees F.”


They must be joking, right? Here in central Florida, 95 degrees at 95% humidity is an AVERAGE DAY. They don’t call our football stadium “The Swamp” for nothing. When we were kids, during the summer our parents would make us play outside ALL DAY LONG so we weren’t causing trouble in the house. Wandering the neighborhood all day, you’d have to run up to some random person’s house to drink water from their garden hose. But: you had to let the hose run for a minute before you drank, because the water that comes out at first is boiling hot. From the sun.

Anyway, the World’s Dumbest Article suggested that excess deaths in the U.S. are at least partly due to hot “wet bulb” conditions.

You know, every time I think they’ve reached the summit of epic gaslighting, they somehow manage to climb just a little higher on the moron scale. I can’t wait to see what other commonplace items morph like advanced terminators into new deadly hazards this year.