he was lookin’ for a vote to reel
he was in a bind
’cause he was way behind
and he was need’n a soul to steal
When he came upon a young Ralphy Jones
sawin’ on a rusty water pipe
and the devil jumped
up on a suitcase hump
and said boy let me tell you what
I guess you didn’t know it
but i’m bit of a rigger too
and if you’d care to take a dare i’ll make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good game, boy
but give the devil his due
i’ll bet a ballot of gold
against your soul
’cause i think i’m better than you
The boy said my name’s Ralphy
and it might be a sin
but i’ll take your bet
and you’re gonna regret
’cause i’m the best there’s ever been
Ralphy then made those calls and stuffed those ballots hard
cause hell’s broke loose in georgia and the devil is deal’n fraud
and if you win you get this shiny Ballot made of gold
but if you lose the devil gets all souls.
The devil opened up his Dominion case
and he said I’ll just end this show
and fire flew from his fingertips
as he set the keyboard aglow
Then he jammed the thumb drive in to the hilt
and it made an evil hiss
and a band of democrats joined in
and it looked just something like this.