On the one hand, there are supposed to be no absolute standards overarching all of us. On the other hand, if you are a cis-hetero white guy, you are in possession of a profound guilt that never ends. You stand accused and condemned, and don’t you dare try to wiggle out of it. Try to wrap your head around this message. There are no such things as the Ten Commandments, and yet you have to go to Hell anyway.

Slavery. Jim Crow. The legacy of slavery. Oppression. Micro-aggressions all day long. Colonialism. The patriarchy. Rape. White supremacy. Euro-centrism. Epistemic violence. Red-lining. The male gaze. Totalizing metanarratives. Shingles. Hives. Lactose intolerance.

But all of these so-called crimes should be tied up in a tight little bundle, handed back to our relativistic accuser, and then this simple question should be posed to him. Why should I care?

What we are dealing with is towering rage for no particular reason. If morality is absolute, then there is a God, and we will all answer to Him. If there is not a God, then the deconstruction of all our customs, our morality, and our mores can proceed apace, and the perpetually aggrieved need to be told to put a sock in it. There is no objective morality, and yet you want me to feel bad about something you call “oppression?” Poor baby.