LOOKS LIKE IT’S ANOTHER INSANE CONSTRUCT OF THE “CULT OF MULOCH”…LOOKS LIKE THE ATTENDEES WHO PAID $500 EACH ARE ROYALLY FOOKED ! JEFF CHILDERS EXPLAINS

Yesterday, after local officials closed down road access to the so-called Burning Man Festival in the Black Rock desert of Nevada, an epidemic exploded , an epidemic of theories sustained by earnest video reporters who claimed that it was not, in fact, the weather, but a mutant form of ebola that was slaying festival goers in droves.

I looked into it, and am happy to report there are no credible firsthand reports of people dying from ebola or any other tropical disease, and though travel to the festival site has, in fact, been closed off, many attendees are communicating with the outside world and seem fine, if disappointed and greatly inconvenienced.

According to the lore, in 1986, two progressive San Fransisco men, presumably under the influence of some substance or other, conceived and carried out plan to burn an eight-foot tall human-shaped sculpture down at San Francisco’s Baker Beach. A small crowd gathered to watch the bizarre event unfold, and the first annual Burning Man accidentally occurred.

What you will not find, not anywhere, is any discussion of the why. Why burn a pretend human? What, or who, it is being sacrificed to? To ask questions is to miss the point, to destroy the ineffable, chaotic, bohemian insubstance of partying without a reason. Describing it also destroys it.

Since then, the party moved to the middle of Nowhere in Nevada’s Black Rock desert, and the number of attendees has increased (over 70,000) along with the size of the wicker human sacrifice and the event’s length (it’s now nine days long).

While an entire pagan folklore has emerged over the years, with its own insider vocabulary, temple of worship, ever grander and more bizarre costume rituals, some of the trappings of modernity have crept in. Entry tickets cost $425, over $500 after taxes and fees (subsidized low-income tickets are available for a bargain $210).

What the festival does not offer, however, are upscale conveniences. But for a few high-net-worth folks in RVs (rental cost $150,000 and up), attendees go showerless, use portable restrooms, and prepare food in less-than-perfectly sanitary desert conditions.

So, folks can be forgiven for assuming that a perfect place for an ebola outbreak would be the harsh conditions of the Nevada desert and the melting pot of 70,000+ stinky attendees-under-the-influence. But what actually happened is, it started raining, and Burning Man got a lot less ‘burning’ and got a lot more bogged down in the mud, which apparently has become a sludgy buzzkill.

Mud Man!

Here’s the New York Times’ headline, as the problem started:

Yesterday a variety of media responded to the internet rumors of Ebola outbreak, but I agreed most with Business Insider’s headline. If there isn’t a squelchy infectious outbreak, there very well soon could be:

Mud Man is the great equalizer. While attendees who were not completely invested in Burning Man’s radical self-reliance values struggled to find ways to get themselves out of the slop and back to civilization, even celebrities were forced to trudge shoulder-to-shoulder with regular folks through the pasty, damp, ankle-deep soft clay.

Other attendees who hiked out described surviving harrowing ordeals in the wet desert. While they had expected to rough it to some extent, they weren’t quite expecting to get their hands, feet, legs, arms, noses, and personal areas dirty.

The mud was just too much, dude.

So that’s it for the Mud Man, I mean the Burning Man report. Their access road is scheduled for re-opening tomorrow. We’ll see what happens.

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Fully’s Comment

In a time where Fires are causing such death and destruction everywhere these neanderthals are celebrating a Burning Man….at $500 a pop

The Rains and havoc are enough to make one believe there really is a God