NOTICE TO THE BOARD:

This is Washer’s mother.

Washer is grounded and confined to his room.

His stupid weed stocks have collapsed by 50%. His stock charts subscription has expired and I won’t be conned into renewing it again so there will be no more charts.

“Normal correction in a young bull, mom!” he keeps blathering. Obviously brain damaged from decades of marijuana abuse.

Meanwhile, there is an angry mob on my front lawn. The tulips are ruined.

I would kindly appreciate that you do not communicate with or encourage Washer in any way.

It is unlikely that he will return. His uncle Frank has given him a perfectly suitable and stable position wiping tables at his MacDonald’s franchise.

You have been advised.