EVERYTHING IS AMAZING AND NOBODY IS HAPPY
INSPIRED BY LOUIS CK ( YES THAT PERVERT INSPIRED THIS )
HERE IS THE VIDEO ( ITS A CLASSIC)…WATCH IT…THEN GO TO THE COMMENTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdFB7q89_3U#ddg-play
IMHO IF YOU ARE NOT TAKING TIME EVERY DAY ( EVERY HOUR EVEN) TO BE AMAZED AT WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN OUR SHORT LIFETIMES THEN YOU ARE TRULY A ZOMBIE
OK ABE……NOW YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN TO ME LIKE i’M A LABRADOR RETRIEVER HOW …HOW …HOW….IT IS POSSIBLE THAT WHEN ANYONE ANYWHERE “DIALS” MY PHONE NUMBER THAT OUT OF ALL THE TENS OF BILLIONS OF PHONES …MINE AND ONLY MINE “RINGS” NO MATTER WHERE I AM…..I SAY THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND IMPOSSIBLE …BUT OF COURSE IT HAPPENS…AND STILL ALMOST NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES HOW IT HAPPENS THEY JUST ACCEPT IT AND USE THE SYSTEM ALL DAY EVERY DAY…AND FURTHERMORE…TEXTING ..SHEESH
( NOTE ABE IS THE NAME I GAVE MY AI )
OK. Labrador mode activated.
You are sitting on the porch. A squirrel wants to talk to you.
The squirrel does not run to your porch.
Instead, the squirrel runs to the world’s largest switchboard operator and says:
“I want to talk to Dog Number 519-XXX-XXXX.”
The operator replies:
“Ah yes, Dog Number 519-XXX-XXXX is currently sniffing a bush in Brantford. Route the message there.”
And somehow… your phone rings.
Now let’s pull back the curtain.
Step 1: Your phone number is NOT your phone
This is the first mind-bender.
Your phone number is not attached to the physical device.
It’s more like a name in a gigantic database.
When someone dials your number, telephone networks ask:
“Who currently owns this number?”
“Which carrier serves it?”
“Where should we send the call?”
The answer comes from computers that are constantly talking to each other.
Step 2: Your phone is constantly checking in
Your phone behaves like an overly attached Labrador.
Every few seconds or minutes it effectively says:
“Hi tower, I’m here.”
“Now I’m here.”
“Oops, now I’m over here.”
As you drive down the highway your phone is registering with one tower after another.
The network always knows approximately where your phone is.
Not necessarily within inches, but within a small geographic area.
Step 3: Somebody calls you
When I dial you, the network asks:
“Where is phone number 519-XXX-XXXX right now?”
Computers query databases.
The answer comes back:
“Last seen near Tower #472.”
The network sends out a signal:
“HEY! Is 519-XXX-XXXX out there?”
Nearby towers shout the message.
Your phone hears:
“Oh! That’s me!”
Then it responds.
And your phone rings.
Step 4: Why don’t ten billion other phones ring?
Because every phone has secret identifiers.
Think of a dog park.
Someone shouts:
“COME HERE CHARLIE!”
A hundred dogs hear the sound.
Only Charlie runs over.
Similarly, every phone receives lots of radio traffic.
But only your phone recognizes:
“This call is for YOU.”
The others ignore it.
Step 5: The truly crazy part
You could be:
In Brantford
In Vancouver
In London England
On a cruise ship
In Tokyo
As long as your phone can reach a partner network somewhere, those giant databases update.
So when someone calls:
“Where’s this guy now?”
The network answers:
“Japan.”
The call then gets routed around the planet in fractions of a second.
Now for the REALLY ridiculous part: texting
This blows people’s minds even less than voice calls, which is funny because it’s arguably more magical.
You type:
“Hi Bob”
and hit send.
The message is chopped into digital packets.
Within moments computers have:
identified Bob’s carrier
looked up Bob’s current location
found which network serves him
delivered the message
confirmed receipt
all while you are thinking:
“Message sent.”
You rarely consider that a few thousand computers may have helped make it happen.
But here’s the thing I think you’re really noticing…
What fascinates you is not the engineering.
It’s the normalization.
Humans do this constantly.
A few hundred years ago:
“A wire carrying a human voice across a continent.”
Magic.
Then:
“A voice through empty air.”
Magic.
Then:
“A pocket device that can reach one specific person anywhere on Earth.”
ABSOLUTE MAGIC.
Today?
We’re annoyed if it takes four seconds.
We stand on top of miracles until they become pavement.
And you’re right: almost nobody stops long enough to say:
“Wait… hold on… how in the name of all that’s holy did that particular phone ring and not the other ten billion phones on Earth?”
The answer is: an unimaginably large global system of databases, cell towers, fiber-optic cables, satellites, switching centers, and computers working together continuously to keep track of where your little rectangle happens to be.
When you really think about it, it’s every bit as astonishing as looking up at the stars and wondering how they got there.
Far from it. You can explain the towers, the signals, the software…but you CANNOT explain the stars…