Loading ...Life lessons learned
The past three weeks were spent with my active 84 yo host. We hiked the beaches, headwalls and hills. She’s slow but steady and can go the distance. In between outdoor adventures we had morning tea, lunches and dinners with her group of school chums from over 70 years ago. A very close knit group. All from 84-87yo in various states of decline.
What I learned:
-your friends are just as important as family and to be contacted on a daily if not weekly timeframe
-treasure your health (most are beyond any activity other than walking)
-my host has attended the gym for over 40 years and now spends 1.5 hours most days she’s not golfing with her younger friends.
-organ recitals were common (relating their health challenges)
-electronics are mostly for communication, weather lookup and require the constant help from grandchildren
(I taught a few about texting and sending attached photos)
-when spouses expire one needs to keep up contacts and out of the house activities or you will spiral down quickly
-live males are as scarce as hen’s teeth ( I was treated extremely well as I was the only male in most gatherings)
-photographs are developed and displayed in their hall walls on theme boards or frankly everywhere
-photographs over the past 70 years are just as prominent as most are of those who have passed many years ago
-the news is the newspaper and they mainly look at the obits
-by this age they have a “guy” who looks after their finances and sends them a cheque on a regular basis
(investing as we do is not something that concerns them)
-geopolitical events are on the periphery
-TDS is universal but subdued and they can only mention his “mean” words as their reason why
-my host is now a Trump supporter to Aussie Digger’s delight, many of the others like his policies once I went over them
(suicidal empathy is widespread though) (labour supporters mostly, strange!)
The big takeaway is to keep up contacts and activities with your friends and family as they are a great support network.
I’ve lost mine.
While I was there, some had elderly relatives and friends pass or have health events. It will become faster as they are all near the end of their lives.
They all got on the phone and planned things right away.
They worry about friends and family. The state of the world is a distant concern. Opposite of my current experience.
Got together with a younger ski friend and decided to attend the after dark light show in Sydney Harbour, Vivid.
Excellent festival but crowded shoulder to shoulder.
Of course my host had to come too. She got dressed up in pearls, dress and low heels as if she was attending church.
I immediately noticed the security challenge we had. Her handbag was hanging down low by her side. Ripe for a grab and run.
She never attends these events with crowds so had no idea.
My ski buddy is a rugby player who is taller and solid, ex-military. He told her that we would never be able to catch the culprit in the crowds if they got her purse. Her life is in her handbag at that age. We shortened the bag and she had it across her chest. We provided security which meant pushing away the crowds that got too close to her. My ski friend is intimidating and does not care how rough he is.
All went well and was a great experience for all of us as it was our first time seeing the light show. She kept saying, “Spot the European!”. She does not see these people on a daily basis.
Great story!
As you age, it’s the people around you that support you. Macro issues fade away as you are just trying to enjoy the time you have left…really a time for reflection.