Effective immediately:

All citizens, with the exception of protesters, rioters and media personnel, are to be quarantined.

All citizens, with the exception of protesters, rioters and media personnel, are required to wear dust masks 24/7.

All citizens, with the exception of protesters, rioters and media personnel, are required to keep eyes closed 24/7 to prevent ocular damage. Failure to do so nullifies the right to medical services(left wing individuals and groups exempted).

Vacuum sales and production workers, broom sales and production workers, dust mask sales and production workers, are hereby declared essential workers(God bless them).

All further instructions to be disseminated through reliable mainstream media sources(God bless them).

Remember, we are all in this together! Also remember, it’s the right thing to do! Also remember, we can do this!

Thank you for your support,

AGGAS(All Governments Great And Small). All AGGAS representatives exempt, obviously(God bless them).